He Got Some ’Splainin’ to Do

Rebecca Solnit’s latest book, Men Explain Things to Me, is a collection of essays that explores the condescending manner in which some men speak to—not with—women. If you’re female, you know exactly what “mansplaining” is, and I’ll bet you’ve experienced it more than once.

Solnit coined the term mansplaining in a blog post in which she recalls meeting a man at a party. When he asks about her latest book, she informs him of the book’s subject matter. The man then proceeds to talk over Solnit about a book on the same topic that he suggests she read. He goes on and on, explaining the topic in depth, until Solnit’s friend finally gets through to him: “That’s her [Solnit’s] book!”

Today on CBC Radio’s The Current, Solnit spoke about mansplaining and the consequences of women’s communication subordination.

My own memorable instance of mansplaining occurred during a university class—of about 50 women and one man—on program planning and facilitation. This particular class was about using appropriate processes when facilitating group discussion, so that everyone has a chance to be heard. The prof explained how some individuals are marginalized in traditional discussion groups, where the loudest, most extroverted, and most powerful individuals take centre stage.

Who should pipe up to take issue with the prof’s point? The lone—and white—man in the class. I raised my eyebrows, dropped my jaw, and looked around the room, but no one saw the irony.

Generally, I’ve noticed that men talk with authority about subjects they know absolutely nothing about. Women keep their mouths shut, figuring if they’re not well versed on a topic, then they’ve no right to talk about it. (My college debating coach always assured the team that we were capable of speaking on any topic. “Bullshit baffles brains” was a favourite saying of his. I didn’t realize at the time how very right he was.)

Earlier in the month, I wrote about another book, The Confidence Code, that similarly identifies problematic gender-based differences in behaviour. (An editor recently brought to my attention the nefarious gender-based characteristics of the author/editor relationship: editors (largely female) are helpmates and behind-the-scenes supporters; writers are the boldly shining stars with authorial command and a public audience. D’oh! I had never thought about it like this before!)

What to do about this? I haven’t yet read Solnit’s book, so I don’t know if she offers practical suggestions, but I like the solution put forth by the authors of The Confidence Code: Act early and act often. In other words, an accumulation of actions is what builds confidence, and confidence in turn leads to more action.

Of course, confidence isn’t necessarily the problem. The problem is living in a world where (typically) male patterns of action are publicly rewarded.

Someone somewhere has some ’splainin’ to do.